Finding "The One" Part Two

A couple weeks ago we started our two part series on finding the one. If you haven't had the chance to read Miranda's perspective on this topic, you can find it here!

Although I am going to be pretty general in my answers, I am sure you'll be able to see some similarities between each of our perspectives. I am trying to keep my points simple and applicable to a variety of circumstances, but it is important to remember finding that special person will most likely be a mash-up of the values and experiences you hold. Everyone’s story reads a little differently. So, here are some of the big things that helped me answer the question –How did you know she was the one? 

Core Values

Most people would agree that having common core values is vital to any long term relationship. This may seem pretty basic, but you’d be surprised at how many people fail to have an honest discussion with their significant other about what values they hold to be most important. Where things might differ a bit for each couple is what those core values may be. For us, it involved our faith in God, our love and respect for family, a similar outlook on what our future may hold (kids, careers, etc.), and a strong commitment that marriage is forever. I suggest you first find out what your core values are and then talk it out with your significant other to see if you are truly and honestly aligning. It’s not impossible to make a relationship work when your values don’t align... it's just really, really, really hard.

Differences

It wasn't only the things we had in common that helped me know she was the one - it was also our differences. I have already made known the importance of aligning core values, but being too similar can be a problem as well. Miranda is a very social, outgoing, and fearless person with a learn-from-experience type of personality. On the other hand, I have a more mild, laid back, rational, planner-type personality.  Additionally, we have pretty big differences in food tastes, so trying to pick a spot for dinner is a nightmare! On paper we may seem pretty different, but our personal strengths were each others weaknesses, and ultimately, the qualities we have each needed to embrace (not to mention our tastes in food have also broadened - particularly my own!).

My World Stops

I’m not sure if anyone else experiences this, but it is something that has stuck out to me throughout our relationship. Before I go on, I want to preface that Miranda and I are not too different from most of you reading this. We have ups and downs, times of joy and times where we argue. With that being said, when we are struggling over something, a point can be reached in which my world stops and nothing else matters until we fix what is going on. I’m not positive what triggers that inside of me, but once a certain level of emotion is reached, I will put forth the effort into doing anything and everything to make it right. It is in moments like these that I know I will always fight for my wife.

 Time to Get Real

Finally, from the moment we started dating, we both explained the importance of being real. No games, no messing around, no pretending. We wanted to be 100% real with each other and if what we had was special, great! But if it wasn’t a good fit, then it is time to part ways instead of attempting to be something we're not (because it would most likely not work out in the long run anyways). Thankfully for me, she is just as goofy and weird as I am and is one of the few people that I can completely be myself around. It doesn’t matter that I may come up with a random song about how I’m doing the dishes or getting dressed, tell an extremely corny dad joke, or reveal some of the things I used to nerd out with (Pokemon, anyone?). At the end of the day, I know she will love me for who I am and there is no better feeling than that.

THANK YOU for taking the time to read my perspective and I’d love to hear your stories, comments, or questions! Feel free to connect with us in whichever way is easiest for you!