Finding "The One" Part One
It’s a loaded question – How did you know he was the one? I think the biggest problem with this question is that it truly is different for everyone, and I think you will be able to see that just from reading both Matt and my individual perspectives. For me, I really didn’t have much dating experience before meeting Matt. But I was one of those crazy girls who had a list of attributes her future husband should have.
On the list:
- Six pack abs
- Handsome
- Taller than me
- Loves God
- Wants kids
- Plays an instrument
- Owns his own business
- Has dark features
I look back on this list and have to laugh a little bit because the things that I valued at that time of life are so much different from what I valued at the time I met my husband. It is safe to say I probably got around half of the things from my original list when I married my husband (I will let you guys guess haha). It’s funny how the things you thought you wanted start to fade when you meet “the one”. Instead, you begin to see your future in a whole new light, everything is fresh, exciting and colorful. So, how did I know that Matt was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I don’t think there was a specific moment I looked at him and felt the “this is my future husband” moment. Instead, let me give you a few reasons why I didn’t hesitate when I said “I do”.
His faith
Faith has always been an important aspect of my life. One of the biggest reasons why I didn’t date much is I never felt like faith was as big of a priority to my love interests. I have always been pretty raw with my faith. I am not ashamed of my faith, regardless if I am struggling or flourishing in my relationship with God. I noticed these same qualities in Matt. He never let God or his faith in Jesus be something he was ashamed in expressing. I could talk to him, pray with him, and we could encourage each other in our faith - when things felt easy and through times of question. I saw myself connect with him in a deeper way than I have with anyone else because of the faith we shared.
His height
As silly as it may sound, height was a huuugggee attraction factor for me. I don’t want to seem shallow or that physical appearances have everything to do with a long term relationship, but having physical attraction to your future spouse is definitely something worth noting. Height for me was the biggest on this list. I think that Matt surprised me in a lot of ways, and one of the many was in physical appearance. I always envisioned my future husband having dark hair, but when this blondie came around he truly swept me off my feet! Not to mention that he could literally melt me into a puddle every time I look into those ocean blue eyes… (ok, ok I’ll stop).
He gets me
He understands me. Kind of simple I know, but when you find someone that understands you and what you need more than yourself, this is when you know you’ve found “the one”. I have always been a very independent woman. As the oldest of five, I was put into the leader role from the very beginning. I never had a problem with doing things for myself, or doing things for other people either. When I starting dating Matt, things started to change. I started to feel the action of love in motion as Matt served me. From the simplest of things like bringing my dirty dishes to the sink, to carrying my backpack, or opening the door for me; slowly I saw he did these things to show me how much he cared. It may seem simple, but to me this was a big deal! You guys, I seriously did not know how to react; actually, I became defensive! My “I can do it myself” attitude kicked in and we got into several fights about it before I finally broke down. God knew what I needed when he put this guy into my life. He knew that I needed a man who would serve me, who would treat me like his queen and pamper me even though I didn’t think I needed it.
He fought for me
The truth is there might not be an exact moment that you know you have found “the one”. But, in addition to the things I mentioned, I truly felt like we fought for our relationship. Matt and I dated for only 9 months before we got engaged. Really, it was more like 6 months into our relationship that we started to toss around the idea of marriage. At this time, we were both in college and neither of us had jobs. However, we both knew that we loved each other (even though we hadn’t said it yet… I know, future post). We spoke with countless friends, mentors, coaches, married couples, and family members. Engagement, or marriage for that matter, was not something that either of us took lightly and definitely wasn’t something we wanted to rush into. However, as we struggled through this time in our relationship, we continued to grow and realize that this was "it". I truly felt (and still feel) like I would fight for Matt and he for me till the end.
Wherever you are in life, whether that’s single, dating, engaged, or married; know that everyone’s story is SO different. The reasons that you get married (or don’t get married) will be different than why someone else decides to. We are here to shed a bit of light on how it happened for us and to share some of the things you may feel when you meet “the one”. The biggest or most important things for us may not be the same for you. Thankfully, we are all created so intrinsically different. We all have so much to offer, so much to learn, and so much to share! So, tell us what you think, how did you know that your significant other was “the one”?